I just post whatever here. Some of it sounds ridiculous, no
doubt, but it's just my thoughts and feelings. People can be
dumb and I am no exception.
Breakdown Aftermath
I don't particularly feel like anything has changed since last
night. I guess I'm used to getting overly emotional out of
nowhere. That was the hardest I've cried in a long time, too.
Getting so upset that I can't control it is distressing. My
entire body wouldn't stop shaking and my lungs were fighting
me to do that god awful sobbing junk. I didn't know what I'd
do today aside from playing FFCCCB to collect information. It
relaxes me to write things down and organize my notes. In a
small way, I admit I had been defeated. If it didn't improve
my mood, I don't think I could have hit the brakes on any of
my potential plans. I'm still not really all that broken up
about any of it even after crying like that. Maybe something
in my head is busted. If it is, is that really a bad thing?
Maybe the numbness is protecting me from whatever any of that
was. Regardless, like always, I walk myself right off of a
dangerous ledge and back onto safe, solid reality. All of my
problems feel small and insignificant again. Everything is
okay.>>